Tuesday, November 3, 2009

His Grace Is Enough For Me

Each day I wake up determined to be a good mother to my children. I am fully aware how significant my role is as a mother and want to make sure I do my very best raising the three blessings that God has generously given to me. With that awareness also brings great fear and apprehension. I repeatedly remind myself that I only have one chance at raising my children which prompts me to ask myself a mile long list of questions.
Am I good mother? What actually is a “good” mother? Am I being a Godly example to my children? As I’ve heard “ children will learn more from watching our behavior than they will by hearing our words.” Sadly, I’m not always being a Godly example. My kids often hear me complaining when I don’t get my way, speaking words that are unkind, and worrying instead of trusting. It’s so easy to tell my children not to worry, that God is in complete control in every situation; but so very hard to listen to my own words and truly believe them. So often I feel like I need to be doing more as a mother. Reading more stories, making more memories, starting more traditions, baking more nutritious meals, spending more quality time together, being more organized, being more fun, going more places with them, having more family devotions, talking more about Jesus. The list goes on and on.
Not only do I struggle with the desire to always do more as a mother, but it carries over into my walk with God. I feel like I should be serving more, studying more, praying more, trusting more, loving more. Honestly I really need to be doing more of a lot of these things, but not from a motive rooted in fear of not doing enough, but out of a love rooted in Jesus. No matter how hard I seem to try to be a perfect mother I always fall short and I always will. But whose standards am I really trying to live up to in the first place? My own, the worlds, or God’s?
I believe that God wants me to measure myself by His standards and to realize that I am a work in progress. He wants me to learn that I can do nothing apart from Him and only through Him, abiding in Him can I be the mother He has called me to be. I’m not perfect and He doesn’t expect me to be. If I was able to reach perfection, I wouldn’t need a Savior. I’m starting to realize that my children as well as myself can learn from my imperfections. I‘m learning how to humble myself, admit my mistakes, and ask for forgiveness from my children. My children already know that I’m not perfect and make mistakes. It’s only when I acknowledge my weaknesses and failures that I can begin to draw strength from the Lord and teach my children to do the same. My children don’t want to see perfection in my life, but authenticity. So I am beginning to realize my job as a mother isn’t to be perfect, but to point them to the One who is.

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