Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Becoming a Woman of Virtue

Here is a list of questions we can use to evaluate ourselves as we strive to become a woman of virtue.

By Nancy Leigh DeMoss

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands”
 (Prov. 14:1).

1. Am I building up my house or tearing it down?

2. Am I investing in my marriage? Am I nurturing the heart of my marriage?

3. Do I frequently express admiration and gratitude to my husband?

4. Am I reserving the best of my physical and emotional energy for my family?

5. Am I creating a climate (through words, actions, and attitudes) that makes my husband want to be at home?

6. Am I content to be “at home”? Am I finding my “fulfillment” through reverencing and serving my husband and family?

7. Do I reserve intimate communication, looks, words, and touch for my husband? Am I giving of my emotions, attention, affection to a man other than my husband?

8. Am I meeting my husband’s sexual needs?

9. Am I trustworthy? Is there any behavior or relationship I am involved in that I am keeping from my husband? Have I been totally honest with my husband?

10. Does my husband have the freedom to be totally honest with me?

11. Am I fueling sensual thoughts and desires through books, magazines, TV programs, music, or movies that are not morally pure?

12. Have I become a “refuge” for a man who may be struggling in his marriage?

13. Am I looking to a man other than my husband (pastor, counselor, colleague) to be a primary source of counsel or to fill an emotional vacuum in my life?

14. Do I have a more intimate relationship—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—with any man than I do with my husband?

15. Does my demeanor tend to be “loud and defiant,” or do I communicate a meek, quiet, and submissive spirit?

16. Am I a “wall” or a “door” (Song of Songs 8:12)? Am I a “loose” woman? Do I communicate to the men around me that I am “available”? Does my demeanor invite them to “partake” of intimate parts of my body, soul, or spirit? Do I engage in flirtatious speech, looks, or behavior?

17. Is there anything about my speech, actions, dress, or attitudes that could defraud the men around me?

18. Am I discreet and restrained in the way I talk with men at work? Is my conversation ever loose, crude, or unbecoming for a woman of God? Am I expressing admiration for a man that should more appropriately come from his wife?

19. Does my dress help men to keep their thoughts pure and Christ-centered? Is my dress feminine and modest?

20. Have I erected (and am I maintaining) adequate “hedges” in my relationships with men? What are those hedges?

21. Am I currently in a situation that is (or could become) compromising? Am I in a situation that could appear to others to be compromising?

22. Would my husband, as well as other men and women who know me, say that I am a woman of moral virtue and purity?

23. Have I purposed in my heart to be morally pure? Am I making myself accountable to my husband and to another godly woman for my walk with God and others?

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies” (Prov. 31:10).

Source: Becoming a Woman of Discretion by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Available at

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