Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I found out on April 26th, two days before my 32nd birthday, that I'M PREGNANT! About a month ago my doctor told me, “whatever you do, do not get pregnant”. We had been trying to get pregnant for several months about a year ago, but nothing ever happened. I was diagnosed with Graves disease (overactive thyroid) and was told that I needed to have radioactive iodine to destroy my thyroid. For some reason, I didn't feel like this was what God wanted me to do so I prayed, and I waited.
For the last year I have been saddened at the thought of being done having children. Never having another child in my womb saddened me, yet the doctors all told me to be done having children.
I’ve always felt like I’m supposed to have 4 children, but finally came to terms that 3 blessings is a generous amount for me and to enjoy the children I have. About two weeks before finding out I'm pregnant again, I told God I completely trusted Him and was content with the children He had given me. I came to terms that three children was all I was supposed to have. It was as if God was just wanting me to fully trust Him! So many times I found myself believing I’m pregnant, only to see one line on the pregnancy test and being let down. This time, not thinking I could possibly be pregnant, I saw one line and then another faint line gradually appear as it was very apparent that I was expecting once again! I firmly believe that it is God alone that opens and closes the womb. I was told several years ago after an ectopic pregnant that I would probably have trouble conceiving and should also consider only one child due to scar tissue. After my 3rd child I had planned to get the one tube I had left tied to prevent further pregnancies because of the risks involved, but the surgeon told me that he couldn’t get to the tube due to the excess scar tissue. I didn’t understand how he couldn’t tie the tube since I was in the middle of a c-section. In the back of my mind, I felt strongly that this was God’s way of preserving my womb to welcome another blessing! Just this year I began home schooling our children and plan to do the same next year. I have a little apprehension about how I’m going to manage a very busy toddler, a baby, and home schooling. I’m reminded that God promises to never give us more than we can handle. With Him all things are possible and without Him I can truly do nothing. Life isn’t about raising geniuses for the world, but raising righteous warriors for the Kingdom of God! Our children belong to the Lord and are made to bring Him glory! Parents are not to seek glory for their child’s accomplishments; whether it be temporal or spiritual accomplishments, but rather glory in the Lord who gives them their giftings and success. I know God has a purpose for this little one and I feel so blessed to be trusted to care for and nurture this precious soul. I’m continually amazed at the way God works and look forward to raising another little soul for His glory.