Does Your Home Have a Living Room?

What is the purpose of a living room?
When I think of a living room I think of a place in the center of the home that people come together for fellowship, hospitality, family worship, singing, devotions, sharing stories, playing games (NOT video games) and creating memories.
But all living rooms don't have life.
Todays living room can barely be called a living room. Maybe we should rename the living room to entertainment room. Todays living room is a place where everyone is gathered together to fight for the best spot on the couch to see the big game or a place where children are made to stay in order to keep them "out of our hair" while we tend to the "more important" things in life. A living room is now a place for movies, football/basketball games, video games, sitcoms, and rarely is a place of true Christian fellowship. I'm not saying all those things listed above is always wrong, but how often do we come together just for good old-fashioned fellowship instead of for the purpose of seeking entertainment.

If you would love for your living room to be truly living, here are some ways to bring it to life:

1. Turn off the noise.
Turn off the t.v., the computer, the cell phones, the radio. At first this will feel awkward if you are always used to having some sort of noise going on. Expect your children and husband to walk into your home and think something is wrong. That's because we they have become more comfortable with all the noise and uncomfortable with silence.

2. Get creative and have some fun!
Let the children act out a story, come up with some fun family friendly games, share stories from your family tree such as how you and your husband met or what their Great Grandparents did when they were children, start an interesting chapter book and take turns reading out-loud as a family. I'm sure there are numerous ideas you can come up with if you just turn off the noise and think about it.
Your children will probably not enjoy the ideas that you come up with at first if they are used to always being entertained. They will over time learn how to be creative and actually prefer being together as a family. My son still thanks me to this day for selling all his video games about 4 years ago. We spent all the money on a huge wooden playhouse. He tells me how he would have never enjoyed the outdoors or learned as much as he has about birds, trees, gardening, and wildlife if he would have been allowed to spend all his childhood on entertainment. My children all love spending time as a family and have found that moving our t.v. downstairs helps us keep our living room living. We haven't had cable for years, but watch dvds for educational purposes. Whatever distracts you from building lasting relationships with your family needs to be removed. We will not look back on life 20 years from now and wish we would have spent more time watching football games, movies, or playing more video games. We build relationships by conversation, by spending quality and quantity time together.

3. Make sure Christ is the center of your home.
Without Christ our homes and hearts are without life. Have you repented of your sin and truly surrendered your life to the Lord?

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10

All the entertainment that you allow in your home; is it stealing time away from your children or your spouse? Is it robbing God of spending time in prayer and Bible study?
Is entertainment killing your relationships and the joy that used to be in your home?

The devil hates the institution of family. He hates more than anything when he sees parents and children lovingly spending time together praising the Lord, reading God's Word, and sharing stories of the Lord's faithfulness. Entertainment has made war in the center of our homes- the living room.

Does your home have a living room?

"Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.”
David Frost

“Television brought the brutality of war into the comfort of the living room. Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America--not on the battlefields of Vietnam.”
Marshall McLuhan quotes

The Unruly Woman vs. the Noble Woman

She can be found at every corner- gadding about.

 According to Cambridge dictionary gadding about means to visit or travel to a lot of different places, enjoying yourself and not worrying about other things you should be doing.

This is the life of the unruly woman-
She will not submit to her calling as a wife/mother. She is headstrong, which is considered an asset in worldly eyes.  She often volunteers for every activity under the sun and can even be found teaching Sunday school, leading Bible studies and prayer groups. She is found attending every community affair and is involved in as many outside activities that she can.
There is only one place that you will not find the unruly woman- in her own home.

She was the brash, rebellious type, never content to stay at home. Provers 7:11

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

To the unruly woman, the domestic duties of caring for a husband and children are beneath her.  She doesn't dare waste her time when she has much more important matters to tend to.  The unruly woman convinces herself that she is doing ministry because many of the things she is doing is considered an honor by the christian circle.  She often hears the praise of men for the sacrifice she makes with her time to serve others, while those of her own  household is daily neglected.
The unruly woman usually takes care of the outside needs of her family such as clothing so that she can impress others, but the inside needs- that of tending and discipling her little lambs are neglected as she pursues her own dreams and ambitions and leaves the tending that should be her job to the daycare or babysitter.
The unruly woman feels that she is superior to the mothers that "waste" their lives and their talents wiping noses, changing diapers, and will never understand why on earth anyone would ever willingly sacrifice their life to stay at home.  She can never be found cooking wholesome meals for her family, in her prayer closet, or holding her children in her arms while reading them a story. She is much too busy for such things.  If for some rare occassion she is found at home-perhaps when a child is sick, she quickly turns on a movie so her children will be quiet while she checks her email or updates her faceebook status.
The unruly woman can be very religious and moral and may know the scriptures, but sadly she doesn't  know the Lord she is reading about.
The unruly woman knows nothing of sacrifical love or dying to self. Her children are often viewed as hindrances to ministry instead of the primary ministry that the Lord has called her to.
The unruly woman isn't ruled by the Lord, but by her own fleshly desires.  She is rather successful in ruling over her husband by her unsubmissive spirit and argumentative attitude. Instead of seeing herself as God calls her- the husband's help meet, she sees her husband as someone that is there to meet her own needs. She thinks the Bible verses that talk about submission are outdated and not relevent for today.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

The unruly woman's family is driven by activities, entertainment, and media. They are always gadding about-  going to and from ballgames, music lessons, daycare, shopping malls, sporting events, among many other things.  They are never found around the dinner table with a home-cooked meal or having family prayer and devotions.  They are too busy to build meaningfull relationships with the Lord or with those of their own household, but somehow manage to find the time to spend on facebook and other media sites.

Titus 2:4-5
That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, ⁵ to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 3:1-7

The life of the noble woman is much different.
She enjoys making a home.  She sees her home as the place where true ministry begins. She realizes that one day she will have to give an account to the Lord for the souls of her children that the Lord has entrusted to her care. She takes her job very seriously and guards against any outside distractions or anything else that may harm her family.  She is often found in her prayer closet for she knows that without the Lord she can do nothing.  She seeks direction, wisdom, and strength from the Lord each day and is purposefully living life with the end in mind.  She often grows weary, tired, and gets discouraged after caring for her home, and those of her household all day, but she knows that God's Word is true-
...Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Psalm 127:3

She knows that even a cup of water given in His name will not go overlooked.

And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward. Matthew 10:42

The noble woman is often mocked by other christians who label her as being too family focused and of neglecting ministry.  But the noble woman isn't shaken, for she knows the truth and patiently awaits the harvest of all her labor. Serving Christ by loving her husband and children and training them up in the ways of the Lord is the very least she can do for all that Christ has done for her.
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
Philippians 2:5-8

The noble wife is also involved in outside ministry.  After she has first been faithful in her own  home, she then becomes a blessing to the homes of others.  She and her children are often found bringing a hot meal to someone that is sick, writing cards of encouragement, or meeting any other needs that the Lord lays on her heart.  She teaches her children how to share the gospel with lost family members and is always looking for opportunities to share and do good to others.

Who can find a noble wife? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10

A seed is useless until it is cast into the soil where it will die in order to become something greater- a plant, a flower, a tree.  In the same way, my dedication to life at home as a mother is a seed of sacrifice.  I give up my own desires and sacrifice my gifts and talents so that new life may come from me. I am buried in the rich soil of homework, homeschooling, chracter training, disciplining, and the myriad responsibilities of making a home. To many in my generation, my decision to stay at home is a fruitless sacrifice, a waste of feminine intelligence and abilities. To me, though, it is a small sacrifice if by it I may send my children into the next generation bursting with spiritual life, ready to change the world for Christ. Fruitless? Only by the world's standards. By God's it is a worthy sacrificce that will  yield a harvest of righteousness. 
Sally Clarkson


The biggest sacrfice for me has been in the areas of relationships and harmony. Once I dedicated my life to biblical motherhood, I very quickly found myself crashing into relational barriers where before there had been none. All of a sudden I was "too commited" to my home and family and not involved enough in outside activities that would provide my children a "balanced life."
 Sally Clarkson

Are You Task Driven or Relationship Driven?

Lately I have noticed that I tend to be more task driven rather than relationship driven.   I have unmeaningly valued accomplishing tasks, rather than engaging in one on one relationships with my children and my husband. 
I am an introvert and being task driven is usually my default. At the end of the day, it's nice to think of all the tasks that I have accomplished and see visual evidence/fruit of my labor.  We often feel the more we do, the more productive our day has been. We like to see quick results from our labor. The clean closets, the empty laundry baskets, the sparkling windows, the shiny, clean floors. We could clean 24/7 and there would still be something left to do.  If we're not careful we can become only task oriented and neglect building relationships with those around us.

You might be to task oriented if you...

feel like you are never able to rest until you have the perfect environment.
are lacking joy and you're always in a hurry.
make promises to your children and don't fulfill them.
are always saying phrases like, "in a little while", "when I get this done", "maybe later", but later never comes.
often find it difficult to be still while you are praying or reading God's Word.
feel like you are wasting time if you take the time to do nothing, except to enjoy your surroundings.
live life like you are on a time schedule and resent interuptions.
are led by impulse, rather than God's Spirit.

If we are too busy each day to read God's Word, to pray, to laugh, make memories, and enjoy life with our children, then we are too task driven.

Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.
Ecclesiastes 4:6 ESV

 I don't want to live life striving after the wind.

I want my children's soul to be nurtured and their heart to be fed.
I want to sit around the dinner table without thinking about the dishes that need done.
I want to play a game of Scattegories without thinking I could be doing something better or getting things done around the house.
I want to be like Mary who was able to forget about the work that needed to be done and just sit at the feet of Jesus.   
I want to be Jesus driven, not task driven.
I want relationships to be top priority.

If you feel overwhelmed and the joy you once had in homemaking is gone, perhaps you are being task driven and not relationship driven. The Lord isn't a harsh taskmasker. His ways are not burdensome, but light.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

Next time your child asks you to do a coloring contest, go for a walk, or to just sit and visit; look them in the eye and say with all your heart, "I'd love too!" Just watch the smile you'll receive and know that you've chosen what matters most- relationships.

What Makes a Home Beautiful

Sometimes I forget and get caught up in the serving, cleaning, decorating, cooking, and homeschooling, that I need reminded of what really makes a home.
 I believe my family wants their mother over perfectly ordered cupboards or clean floors.  I am reminded daily that this home that I'm living in is temporary, it will never be perfect, nor does it supposed to be.  It makes me long for my heavenly home where beauty is found in the Presence of Jesus Christ, not  in lavish furniture or Martha Stewart decorating.  If we want our temporary dwellings to be beautiful, Jesus has to be found at the center of our homes.  I think the greatest compliment I have ever received was last year when a lady come over to my house.  As she walked around our home, tears filled her eyes.  She said, "Wow, you can just feel the presence of God in your home." She didn't compliment how clean my floors were  or how well I decorated, but that she felt God's presence.  It really caught me off guard. Never had I heard a reaction like that before.  What a great reminder to me of what really makes my home beautiful!
Over the years I've learned and hope to remember that:

The size of a house doesn't make a home.
A new living room set doesn't make a home.
Having a spotless house doesn't make a home.
Having a "new" house does not make a home.
Having beautiful decorations that look just like the glossy pages found in the House Beautiful magazine does not make a home.

"Home" happens when memories are made:
Playing board games around the kitchen table, sharing meals and holidays, bringing home a new baby, learning how to ride a bike, planting a garden as a family, backyard picnics, counting stars on the back deck, daddy's bedtime devotions, canning summer's bounty...

"Home" happens when first steps are taken, first words are spoken, bellies are filled with laughter.
"Home" happens when crumbs are left for tomorrow, fingerprints are a work of art, and blankets are made into castles.

But what makes your home truly beautiful is Jesus Himself.
His presence when hands are folded in prayer, voices  proclaiming God's goodness, mercy, forgiveness, and faithfulness.

Allowing Christ to be at the very center of your home.

Acknowledging that all our labor is in vain without Christ as the foundation.  Laying aside "important" things to choose the better by being still, seeking God, reading His Word, and crying out to Him in prayer. 

Realizing that we can do nothing whatsoever without Him.

Refusing to seek perfection in our earthly homes.

Seeking our heavenly home and keeping our eyes on the Prize- Jesus Himself!

Do you have a beautiful home?

Psalm 127:1
Unless the LORD builds the house,its builders labor in vain.

Proverbs 24:3-4
By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Cultivating Relationships

This post is shared over at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home.
If someone asked us what's most important to us we would probably answer RELATIONSHIPS- our relationship with the Lord, our children, our husband, friends, and family. If we truly believed relationships are so important to us then why is it that we spend so little time cultivating them? It's not hard for us to spend time on the internet, keeping an orderly home, watching t.v, playing sports, or serving our family in the mundane tasks of motherhood, but when it comes to spending QUALITY time with those we love best we usually fall short. Most families never have time to develop relationships because they are over-commited to sports, music lessons, ministry opportunities, entertainment,and every other activity that comes their way. We need to simplify our schedules and weed out anything that hinders us from spending quality time with the Lord and our families. Even good things can be bad for us in particular seasons of our life. We need to be intentional with our time and use our time to invest in what matters most- relationships.

Ways to Cultivate Relationships Within the Family:

1. Eat at least one meal together as a family.
2. Make time to really LISTEN to your children.
How often do you sit and actually make eye contact with your children- laying aside all other distractions? Your children will not share their hearts with you if they feel they dont have your undivided attention.
3. Make family devotions a priority.
Start small. Set aside a few days a week for family devotions until you work up to everyday. Spending even 15-20 minutes a day reading scripture, praying as a family, singing hymns will change your family. When we first started doing family devotions it feel awkward, but over time it feels awkward if we miss a night of devotions. Most people do devotions over the supper table or before bedtime. Do what works best for your own family. There are days that life is crazy and we skip our devotions. We are still a work in progress in this.
4. Turn off the t.v., cell phones, and internet.
Trust me, you can do it! *wink*
5. Make "date" nights.
Not only with your spouse, but with each child. Once a month write a day on the calendar to spend a few hours individually with each child doing something they choose to do. Go out for icecream, take a walk, play a game, be CREATIVE!

Cultivating relationships is hard work, but always worth it!

A Prayer for Parents

I found a poetry book at a vintage flea market a few months ago called Life's Greatest

Treasure by Hallmark and especially liked the poem called "A Prayer for New Parents". This poem isn't only for new parents, but for all. Hope

you enjoy reading it as much as I did and it encourages you to keep an eternal perspective as you train up your children. We only get-

one

single

chance

to raise our children.

That's it.

No second chances.

This is one area we can't afford to be lazy in.

God, help us to remember that our children will learn more from our deeds than our creeds. Help us to depend on You each and every day for wisdom and discernment in raising these beautiful souls for Your glory alone. God give me grace.

Amen.

A Prayer for New Parents

By: James Keller

O Lord, give us the wisdom ---

To deal with our children as You would,

To see in each of them Your Holy Image,

To develop in them a Christ-like love of all men, not only a select few,

To teach them to be go-givers rather than go-getters.

Oh God, in training these dear ones whom

Thou hast entrusted to our charge, help us ---

To encourage rather than discourage them,

To discipline with kindness not softness,

To guide them intelligently, not blindly,

To coach, not scold; to nudge, not nag.

Dear Lord, above all, help us ---

To use common sense in regard to their future,

To let them go gladly when the time comes,

To let them lead their own lives while following them with our love,

To pray always that they will be close to Thee,

not only for the few years of this life

but for the endless years of eternity.

God Give Us Homes

Homes where the Bible is honored and taught;

Homes with the Spirit of Christ in their thought;

Homes that a likeness to heaven have caught.

God give us homes!

God give us homes!

Homes with the father in preist-like employ;

Homes that are bright with a far-reaching joy;

Homes where no world-stain shall come to annoy.

God give us homes!

God give us homes!

Homes where the mother is queen-like in love;

Ruled in the fear of the Savior above;

Homes that to youth most inspiring shall prove.

God give us homes!

God give us homes!

Homes with the children to brighten the hours;

Budding and blooming like beautiful flowers;

Places of sunshine-sweet, sanctified bowers.

God give us homes!

By J.R. Clements

Children Keeping You Out of the Ministry?

Are you a mother who often feels like you're not serving God unless you are always busy serving in the church? Do you ever wish that you were involved in "true" ministry?  Do you feel guilty for not "doing enough" for God? This was me and is still me at times. I love Jesus and want more than anything to serve Him in everything I do.  I am so thankful I found the blog post below to help remind me of the fact that raising my children IS ministry.


If this sounds like you or someone you know, head over to Walking with Sarah and read Rhonda Devine's post titled, "Children Keeping You Out of the Ministry?" I pray that it will bless you as it did me.

Women are called to manage their homes (1 Tim. 5:14) ; this pleases God and keeps the adversary from speaking reproachfully. Women who make homes keep God’s word from being blasphemed (Titus 2:4). The way I understand this is that a home that is well managed is a positive glory; a home in shambles is a poor testimony. But this is not to lay a guilt trip on women; rather, it should inspire us to view our seemingly mundane tasks as a truly worthy calling that God uses to transform the world. We often think of homekeeping as drudgery. But God says it silences our enemies. That is something potent. God always does things backwards from what we think. This requires wisdom.

Nancy Wilson of Femina

Your good works ought to first be done at home--ministering to the needs of your family. Then if God gives you time, opportunity, available resources or in a different season of life--to take those gifts and those abilities and expand them, as we'll see the Proverbs 31 woman does, outside of your own home.

Nancy DeMoss

We have experienced substantial joys in professional ministry, but nothing is quite so fulfilling as the personal joy of seeing family friends come to faith… The family is at the very heart of authentic ministry and evangelism. As ministry professionals, we hold the firm conviction that family is ministry and that the most effective spread of the gospel occurs through family. We are also convinced that we were never more effective in evangelism than when we had children at home.

Kent and Barbara Hughes
Disciplines of a Godly Family, Crossway, 2004, p. 86- 87