Real Treasure

 Your only REAL estate is above, where moth and rust do not corrupt, nor thieves break in and steal. 

Nothing is more unreal than “owning real estate”, for within a few years it will belong to somebody else, no matter what we do.” Vance Havner 

“For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come.” Hebrews 13:14

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

“The earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.” Psalm 24:1

And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15

“But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the LOVE of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

1 Timothy 6:9-10

How to Be Perfectly Miserable

1. Think only of yourself
2. Expect to be appreciated
3. Be envious of others 
4. Be suspicious of others 
5. Hold on to bitterness and offense
6. Have high expectations of others
7. Get upset when people are ungrateful to you for what you’ve done for them.
8. Live for pleasure, always need to be entertained.
9. Never serve others
10. Think of all you don’t have
11. Compare yourself with others
12. Think people exist to make you happy
13. Neglect your relationship with the Lord.
14. Neglect good diet, exercise, and sleep.
15. Spend all your time debating and arguing with others. 
16. Resent being inconvenienced 
17. Being a miser= MISERable. 
18. Put your hope in people rather than God
19. Take to heart everything people say to you
20. Dwelling on the negative instead of what is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and of good report. 

True happiness and contentment is only found in knowing, loving, and serving Jesus. It’s in dying to the flesh each and every day and taking up our cross and following Him. 

It’s in thinking of others and how we can be a blessing to someone else every single day.

A Father’s Love

 

Where else could a bleary eyed 3 year old learn best how to trust her Heavenly Father’s arms to hold and keep her, but from her own earthly father? 

Dustin has been working two full time jobs right now and still makes time for his little girl. 

(Only 17 days left before his last day at DFA!)

She sees him rush in the door from work, getting ready to work up at the barn and often says, “Dad, I need you”, while looking up with her big blue eyes and arms held high. 

Melts a daddies heart. 🥹

How could anyone resist? 🥰

And God doesn’t resist anyone who cries out to Him, searching for a safe and secure resting place to rest their weary head. 

Thank God for Daddies who make it easy to trust in a loving and gracious Heavenly Father. 

“He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”

Psalm 91:4

Healthy or Toxic Relationships? 20 Things to Look For.

 Do you have any difficult people in your life?

Many people are in dysfunctional and toxic relationships and don’t even know what a healthy relationship supposed to look like. 

Here are a few healthy traits to look for and strive to be ourselves for others. 

1. You feel loved and accepted when you’re around them. You don’t feel the need to put up a front, but can be completely honest about your struggles without being criticized or judged.

2. You’re able to visit with them without being interrupted or ignored.

3. You can share accomplishments without them being envious or having a competitive spirit, always trying to “one up” you.

4. They don’t create drama or added mental stress in your life. 

5. They pray for you and want to see you grow spiritually. 

6. They check on you when they know you’re going through an illness or a trial. 

7. They tell you the truth about yourself even though they might be concerned it won’t be well received because they love you and want a healthy relationship with you. “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6

8. They’re not always flattering you and others. “Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet.”Proverbs 29:5 

9. They encourage you.

10. They’re quick to apologize when they’ve hurt you.

11. They do not play mind games or always have a secret motive for everything they do.

12. You can trust them.

13. They truly care about the way they make you feel. “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4

14. They are not always comparing you with others.

15. They respect your boundaries. 

16. You can tell them “no” without any repercussions such as the silent treatment, trying to make them feel guilty, or emotional manipulation. 

17. They are not controlling or manipulating in any way. They don’t get jealous of the other relationships you have with others. 

18. They treat you the same no matter what group of people are around.

19. The respect you.

20. They help and encourage you to draw closer to God. The conversations you have with them are often about spiritual things, not worldly pleasures and the temporary things of life. 

So what should we do if we find ourselves in a toxic and destructive relationship?

The Bible tells us IF it is possible, to live at peace with ALL men. 

It does NOT say that we have to tolerate another’s sinful and destructive behavior. 

We must forgive them, but can love them from a distance. 

With some, we can talk and work through things, but with others, we will only get hatred, bitterness, and strife from doing this. 

We MUST use discernment here!

MOST people do not handle confrontation well, in fact, MOST times it only exasperates the problems. 

Correct a scoffer and he will HATE you.

“Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; Teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.” Proverbs 9:8-9

On the flip side, sometimes we assume it won’t be well received because we secretly wish to have a valid reason to cut them out of our life, which is wrong too. We must be asking God for wisdom. 

At times, living at peace with someone is maintained by leaving them alone. Praying for them and giving it to God. 

STOP trying to fix broken people who do not want to change. You will pay for it and confusion and all kinds of conflict will enter your life. 

“16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.” 

James 3:16-18

Avoiding unhealthy relationships does not always mean that we are not forgiving others or holding on to bitterness. In fact, a lot of times the one who is being mistreated would love to have the relationship restored, but without repentance, sometimes on BOTH sides, it is impossible. 

Living at peace with others does not mean we have fellowship with them. 

Jesus did not have fellowship with everyone and was selective. 

He knew who He could trust and didn’t easily entrust Himself to others.

Aren’t you looking forward to getting our new glorified bodies where every relationship will be perfect and without strife? 

Perfect unity with Jesus and others, forever!

Choose Wisely

 Surround yourself with those who make you laugh, not cry behind closed doors.

Those who love you, not purposely hurt you.

Surround yourself with those who encourage you to love and follow Jesus,

Not those who live for pleasure and the pride of life that take your focus off the eternal. 

Those who refuse to gossip about others in your presence, knowing if they gossip to you, they will gossip about you.

Surround yourself with those who love you enough to tell you the truth you need to hear and not words of flattery to gain advantage and favor.

Those who don’t make you feel you are walking on egg shells every time you’re around them and are always a disappointment to them.

Surround yourself with those you can say no to without getting the silent treatment or the cold shoulder. 

Those who love you for who you are, allowing God to change you in His perfect timing. 

Life is too short to waste your time on those whose hearts are filled with envy and bitterness towards you, who rejoice when something bad happens and can’t rejoice when good comes into your life. 

Abstaining from closeness with toxic people doesn’t mean you don’t love them or wish them evil, it means refusing to allow yourself to be a player in their mind control and manipulation. 

Do your closest contacts make you feel drained and discouraged or unloved and worthless on a consistent basis? 

Perhaps it’s time to abstain from those who crush your spirit each time you’re around them.

The righteous choose their friends wisely...

Proverbs 12:26

Biblical Womanhood? What’s that?

What IS a woman? 

To find the answers, we must look to the One Who created women to get our worldview. God’s Word alone must be our standard as true believers. 

What characteristics does God use to describe a godly woman and what is God’s will for women who are wives and mothers? 

Of course God’s 1st will for us as women is to 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind,' and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself'" (Luke 10:27).

If we don’t love God, we will not have any desire to obey His Word or follow His ways. We won’t be able to love our husband or children if God is not 1st in our lives. 

After this, I believe we will have the desire to obey Titus 2 as women. 

It’s nearly impossible to read or quote from Titus 2:4-5  without offending someone. God calls this teaching  “Sound doctrine” 

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.(maligned, mocked, reproached, shamed, disgraced, slandered, reviled, dishonored) 

That’s pretty strong language for something most consider to be no longer relevant.

God’s general will for most women is to marry, bear children, and guide the home.

(1 Timothy 5:14) 

To be “Workers at home”-1 Timothy 5:14

To bear children, manage the home, 

 (1 Timothy 5:10,14, Titus 2:4,5)

To keep the house and be a joyful mother of children. (Psalm 113:9)

To be meek (mild tempered, yielding) and quiet spirited. (1 Peter 3:4)

Submissive to her husband as unto the Lord. ( 1 Peter 3:5) 

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1

 

She is virtuous and is a crown to her husband. Proverbs 12:4 

She looks well to the ways of her household. (Proverbs 31:27)  

She is man’s helpmeet if she’s married. 

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18

Women were created to be a helper for man, not vice versa. 

Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control. 

(1 Timothy 2:11-15)

“She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20 She provides not only for her families needs, but for the needy around her. 

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine, flourishing WITHIN YOUR HOME.” 

Psalm 128:3-4

God’s good plan for women hasn’t changed. How much of our convictions and opinions come from what we’ve learned from the world rather than God’s Word?

Trustworthy- “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11

She faithfully teaches her children the ways of the Lord. (Proverbs 1:8-9) God gave this responsibility to mothers and fathers. Parents are responsible for raising and training their own children. Yes, others may contribute to that training, but it’s the parent’s God given responsibility.

In a day and age where society is confused about Biblical manhood and womanhood, we must stand for Truth.

If you are a woman, embrace God’s good plan for you. 

Women were created to be nurturers, motherly, feminine, meek, and gentle.

Men were created to rule, conquer, protect, provide, and lead.

“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.“ 

1 Corinthians 11:3

“And you will desire to control your husband,
 but he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16

The curse (sin) has caused women to desire to rule over man. 

Today’s worldly woman is loud, domineering, bossy, rough, haughty, self willed, head strong, unwilling to submit to God’s ways and then gets upset at the caos and unrest this lifestyle produces.

“Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.” Genesis 5:2

I pray that God will expose every worldly and humanistic thought pattern that does not line up with the Bible, man made traditions that are not grounded in Truth.

When we embrace God’s picture of womanhood we are saying to the world, “there is a distinction between a man and a woman”.  Today it is countercultural for a man to act like a man and a woman to act like a woman. Society wants to blur those distinctions as much as possible, another tactic of the enemy.

Even single women with no children can still embrace God given womanhood by nurturing, loving, helping, encouraging, serving, feeding, adopting, mentoring, or embracing the children around her in the church, family, and community. 

God has created women to be nurturers, single or not. 

Opportunities abound to pour out our love on the children around us. 

Ephesians 5:17 says, “Do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” God’s will for us is to be sanctified, set apart for Him, being confirmed to His image. 

If God created you a woman, embrace what God calls “good things, proper for sound doctrine” found in Titus 2 and all throughout the Bible and you will see that 

His ways do not bring bondage as the feminists try to tell us, but freedom.

No Good Thing Will He Withold

 “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.”

Ps.23:1

“No good thing will He withhold from those who walk up rightly.” Ps. 84:11

What is it you want? 

A husband, a wife, a child, a new job, a faithful friend, better health, or more money in the bank account.

  So many times the things we pray for or subconsciously want are not “good” in the eyes of God because He knows they would be detrimental to our spiritual health or perhaps He is at work providing these things, but it’s in His perfect timing.

Often He may withhold what we consider “good” things, because God’s good is different than our good. God’s ways are so much higher than our ways and so much better! 

Maybe the delay in answering some of these wants are to give us what’s best-

More faith, a closer intimacy with Him, or to develop a heart that’s compassionate towards others. 

He is the good Shepherd and delights to give good things to His children, which makes me content to want what He sees fit.

When we seems to withhold 

We can rest easy knowing that Jesus will never withhold any good thing from those who walk in His ways. 

PRACTICAL STRESS SAVERS FOR MOTHERS!

1. Write things to do on a list and plan your day. You most probably won’t get through your list, but at least you have a plan.

2. Make a game of household chores as you do them with your children. 

3. Make your schedule your servant, not your master. 

4. Play a game or have a competition while doing the chores with your children.

5. Enlist the children to fold the laundry and put it away. 

6. Teach your children: “Don’t put it down, put it away.”

7. Teach your older children to wash and dress the younger ones.

8. Play peaceful Christian music in your home.

9. Do you daily exercises with your children.

10. Go on a journey with your children through an old photograph album. They love seeing old family pictures.

11. Gather your children around you and read to them when they are bouncing off the walls. Reading stories quietens them all down.

12. Wear clothing that is comfortable and easy to maintain.

13. Talk less, listen more.

14. Eliminate or restrict the amount of caffeine in your diet.

15. Take a nice warm shower or bath.

16. Sit down and sing some songs with your children.

17. Take the children (and the dog) for a walk.

18. Be practical when buying household furniture etc. Expensive items spell stress.

19. Do a kind deed for someone else. Include your children as this trains them to do kind deeds too.

20. Put a special stick-on pen by the phone with a pad for messages.

21. Leave the kitchen clean and tidy every night.

22. Train your children to politely answer the phone and door.

23. Be prepared to change your plans.

24. Don’t ignore problems but tackle them head on.

25. Do your shopping on off-hours during off-days to avoid crowds.

26. Limit the number of women’s meetings, coffee mornings, and playgroup sessions that you go to.

27. Be the manager of your home. Your name is Mother, not slave.

28. Allow 15 extra minutes to get ready when you are going out. And what about turning the clock forward half an hour when getting ready for church?

29. Listen to constructive criticism. Be willing to learn new things.

30. Spend time in the garden with your children.

31. Guard the sanctity of your home. Don’t allow others to selfishly invade your life.

32.If you don’t have time for an early morning Quiet Time, write out one or two Scriptures and pin them up on your fridge or near your kitchen work area and meditate upon them during the day.

32. Take the phone off the hook if you want a rest.

33. Cook two meals at a time, eat one and freeze the other.

34. Make children responsible for making their beds and keeping their own bedrooms tidy.

35. Don’t try to do too much. You are not a super-mum!

36. Remember Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

37. Hum, sing, or whistle while doing your work. It creates a happy atmosphere. 

38. Eat a healthy diet. Take extra supplements if needed.

39. Don’t compare your family with others. Your family is unique. You don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations. 

40. Be a “keeper at home” and try not to go out too much. 

41. During rest time, pin a note to the door say: “Mother and children resting. Please do not disturb.”

42. Learn to say “No” to others. Family comes first. 

43. You are not a taxi service. Train your children to be contented at home. 

44. Dress neatly and attractively. Staying at home shouldn’t mean a slovenly appearance.

45. Teach your children to clean up after themselves.

46. Don’t try to pack more into your days than you have time for.

47. Make time for some quiet moments alone with your husband each evening.

48. Fellowship together is so stress-relieving. Arrange a little picnic at a park to meet another mother and her children so you can chat together, and the children can play together. Or even at your own home.

49. Eliminate all sugar from your children’s diet. Too much sugar makes them hyper!

50. Instead of yelling at your children when they are arguing and fighting, move right in and pray with them instead! Pray against the arguing spirit and speak God’s peace into their hearts.

Love from Nancy at Above Rubies.

Wait Up

Wait Up

Little tike who followed me,

Standing scarcely to my knees,

Proud mama of a blue eyed son,

You couldn’t wait to walk and run.

Reaching arms as if to say,

“Wait up for me, don’t walk away.

Wait up, my steps are small and slow,

I need some time so I can grow.”

A little boy who now explores,

Whose classroom is the great outdoors.

“Fast” is the word he goes by now,

Time, won’t you please slow down somehow?

My little boy, now a young man,

Grasping time as if I can,

Slipping quickly from my view,

Season’s change from old to new.

Wait up, my son, I need to rest,

Perhaps the slow days were the best.

Wait up, I used to be in lead,

Time to readjust I need.

It’s late at night, should be asleep,

I’m waiting up, “Please Lord, do keep”,

This little boy I still can see,

Although a distant memory.

He’s much too old to need me now,

But still I wait up anyhow.

Wait up, time, you’ve too fast,

for time with little ones don’t last.

Time waits for no one, must keep the pace,

For life’s a vapor, sprint, a race.

A mother’s work continues on,

Even when their grown and gone.

The work of love, and unseen prayers,

and waiting up to show we care.

Welcome home, now I can rest,

Safely home, where I like best.

I Need You Lord

 I Need You, Lord.

I needed you Lord, as a little girl,  scared of the dark, blankets pulled over face, scared to take a breath. 

I needed you Lord, teenage girl, running from the One I needed most, trying to find satisfaction in everything but You.

I needed you Lord, young mother, not knowing what I was doing, but acknowledging my need for You for the first time to make me into the woman You want me to be.

I needed You Lord, when I held my miscarried child in the palm of my hand a day after watching that tiny heart flutter on the ultrasound screen.

I needed You Lord, when I sat beside the bedside holding my Grandmother’s hand watching her every breath, not knowing when it was going to be her last, as tears streamed down my face.

I needed You Lord when I watched my oldest daughter walk down the isle to marry the man of her dreams as her childhood flashed before my eyes. 

I needed You Lord as I was told the dangers of getting pregnant again and seeing that faint line appear on the pregnancy test.

I needed You Lord, as I was told while on the operating table that there was a pretty good chance I wouldn’t make it after they delivered my sweet baby girl by c-section and I looked up at my husband who had tears in his eyes before he told me goodbye from the operating room, not knowing if that was for the last time.

I needed You Lord, when instead of recovering after the birth, I continued to get worse, mentally and physically.

I needed You Lord when I thought I was the only one that grace could never save.

I needed You then and I need You now.

 There will never come a single moment I do not need You. I need You when the sun is shining just as much as when the sky is crying. 

Thank You, Lord for showing me how much I need You and for always being faithful even when I have not. 

I need You, Lord. Help others to see they need You too.